I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I wentout one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feethigh. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. Iwas raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and Iknew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruningshears and clipped it back until there was nothing left but stumps. It wasjust coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these littlestumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush wascrying. I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it),and I looked at it and smiled and said, “What are you crying about?” Youknow, I thought I heard that currant bush say this:
“How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I wasalmost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence,and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look downon me because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you dothis to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”
That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it somuch that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardenerhere, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruittree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, littlecurrant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thankyou, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down. Thank you, Mr.Gardener.’”
Years passed, and I found myself in England. I was in command of acavalry unit in the Canadian Army. I held the rank of field officer in theBritish Canadian Army. I was proud of my position. And there was anopportunity for me to become a general. I had taken all the examinations.I had the seniority. The one man between me and the office of general inthe British Army became a casualty, and I received a telegram fromLondon. It said: “Be in my office tomorrow morning at 10:00,” signed byGeneral Turner.
I went up to London. I walked smartly into the office of the general, and Isaluted him smartly, and he gave me the same kind of a salute a seniorofficer usually gives—a sort of “Get out of the way, worm!” He said, “Sitdown, Brown.” Then he said, “I’m sorry I cannot make the appointment.You are entitled to it. You have passed all the examinations. You have theseniority. You’ve been a good officer, but I can’t make the appointment.You are to return to Canada and become a training officer and a transportofficer.” That for which I had been hoping and praying for 10 yearssuddenly slipped out of my fingers.
Then he went into the other room to answer the telephone, and on hisdesk, I saw my personal history sheet. Right across the bottom of it waswritten, “THIS MAN IS A MORMON.” We were not very well liked in thosedays. When I saw that, I knew why I had not been appointed. He cameback and said, “That’s all, Brown.” I saluted him again, but not quite assmartly, and went out.
I got on the train and started back to my town, 120 miles away, with abroken heart, with bitterness in my soul. And every click of the wheels onthe rails seemed to say, “You are a failure.” When I got to my tent, I was sobitter that I threw my cap on the cot. I clenched my fists, and I shookthem at heaven. I said, “How could you do this to me, God? I have doneeverything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could havedone—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you dothis to me?” I was as bitter as gall.
And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was myown voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I wantyou to do.” The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees bythe cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness. Whilekneeling there I heard a song being sung in an adjoining tent. A number ofMormon boys met regularly every Tuesday night. I usually met with them.We would sit on the floor and have Mutual. As I was kneeling there,praying for forgiveness, I heard their singing:
“But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I’ll go where you want me to go.”
God knows what we can be and he knows where the path that we are on is going to take us and he is going to try to help all we need to do is trust him
Elder Matthews
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